Misunderstood, again.

Clara has a tendency to scream when something goes wrong. It doesn't necessarily occur to her to just tell someone what's wrong, or ask for help, she just throws herself into full-on-screaming.

I'm not a fan of this. I try to discourage it.

The other day, we were in the car. I was just backing out of a parking spot in the coffee shop, and she started SCREAMING. As it turns out, she dropped her sticky bun.

I immediately became annoyed with her overreaction. I stopped the car, turned around, and told her there was no reason to scream. If she just asked nicely, in a normal voice, I'd pick up the sticky bun, and hand it back to her. But I'm not going to help if she keeps screaming.

Sounds reasonable, no?

Discourage the 'bad' behaviour, encourage the 'good' behaviour?

Well, no.

She kept screaming.

Hysterics ensued.

I repeated a few times that she just had to ask nicely, and she just kept screaming.

Fine.

I left the sticky bun on the floor, and pulled out of the parking lot.

After a few more minutes of screaming, we were stopped at a red light. I turned around and asked her "Clara, do you want me to pick up your sticky bun?"

She answered "Yes, but if YOU were clipped into this carseat, and YOU couldn't reach our own sticky bun, YOU would be upset too!"

Wow.

I get it.

She didn't WANT to ask me nicely to help her pick up her sticky bun.

She didn't WANT to ask me at all.

She just wanted to get it herself, like everyone else in the car could do.

I wonder how often I completely miss her point like that?